meine umwelt
avec moi, sans moi,
par moi
Ahh… and the tales I shall unfold
May blast comprehension if the truth be told
An ode to the masters, martyrs and whims
A satyr on life and sullied daydreams
(1996)
I think I’ve seen through a sparrow’s eyes
As far as I humanly can.
And I’ve felt the sea wash me back,
To and fro, as a pebble in the sand.
But I turn to my brother and I cannot see
How the twigs dash a window pane
And I cannot comprehend the angry snarl
Nor the resentment that binds a soul.
And I yearn again for the human touch
As I lose my pride to its charm
And my eyes beg again for a gentle caress
Or the warmth of a loving smile.
What am I looking for, where do I search,
Why do I find no response:
Within, without? Love me, love me, do.
I’m teased by a moment of pure clear sight
As I trace another’s mind and soul,
Sense to sense, identification throughout,
Sparkling, spinning, gladdening, beginning.
Love me, love me, do.
What am I worth, where do I start,
What can I do, and where do I end?
Hug me, hug me, do.
I search not for lover, parent or child,
But my self in another’s form.
I search for my lover, my parent, my child,
I search for their selves in my form.
I’m lost in the barrage of all.
Love me, love me, do.
Love me, love me. Do.
(12th Oct ‘95)
How do I know right from wrong?
On what do I base my decisions?
As I painfully, brutally develop
A course of action, upon what
Does my conviction rest?
I justify everything, but how do I know
What is truly justifiable or not?
I find myself confronted by an
Impenetrable fog of alter-
As I condemn, or support
Groping along with intuitions’ feelers
Not interfering with conscious thought
Or able to express my belief in words
But believing all the same
How can I know I am right?
Give me the responsibility of knowledge
But give me that knowledge
With which to assess, to perceive,
To govern my self
(29th Jun ‘95)